a full pessimist, not in recovery

I am writing about my only love of my whole life. This blog is in English. So if you can help me to improve my english writing, please don't hesitate. Thanks in advance.

آخرین مطالب
  • ۹۸/۰۱/۳۱
    Ten
  • ۹۸/۰۱/۲۶
    nine

۲ مطلب در ارديبهشت ۱۳۹۸ ثبت شده است

  • ۰
  • ۰

Thirteen

This is the first time ever somebody reads this. Please tell me every curse you know which may come into your mind after reading next paragraphs. Because I have cursed myself everyday with words like; idiot, inept (my father’s favorite), trash, psycho.

I have not wanted to be a lover on that time. I have hated to be attached to someone or something. I did even ran away from my family. Until I found someone. Like other boys on that age and time, I met her in Yahoo. Our first date was in our university. We sat on two separate bench because we afraid of university securities. I did not have a fear about these guys but when I met her I scared. My heart was tearing apart. However, indeed I was a master of self-control. Especially, control of emotional. I knew myself as a totally reasonable and an introverted boy. From the first day I heard her voice I was surprised. I should not depend on someone but even her voice hypnotized me. Voice? Come on! Beethoven?  No! Her voice was the best music of the world of all time. Who’s Beethoven! I decided to run away when I first met her. But I could not. I did whatever I could but finally I get back to her. The earth gravity was towards her. Her face, I was in love with every single part of her body. The first girl stood beside me in a train and talked to me. The first girl I kissed her hand. The first girl I kissed her lips in a dark alley. The first girl I put my hand on her shoulders in a taxi. And so many other first things which some of them was the last one! I was a religious man. But when I saw her I changed my Kiblah and I just have had one word to say for praying: Goddess

To be continued...
  • ashkan aghasi
  • ۰
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Twelve

She just removed me from her contact in Linked again. I know I can't text her or talk to her. Because she hates me. 

I don't know what ti do. She wants to get married to someone else. 

Maybe she is right. I shouldn't bother her. But I can't! I love her. I LOVE you please understand and wait for me. Please

  • ashkan aghasi