One

I don't know where to begin my story. I just want to talk about her. I can't talk to her because she hates me. So I have to write for myself. 

Some years ago, I met her. She was gorgeous, wise and a true lady. I loved her from the moment I saw her. We were in the same university. I think I never said 'I love you' face to face!! So what am I?! a loser. I know. 

After a while, we had a great time but I ruined it. I knew I wasn't enough for her. Actually, I was nothing for her. I had nothing to offer her. Instead, she was perfect. So, I decided to push her away. I helped her to study at the university which is far from our living city. 

Therefore, I began to increase our emotional distance and made a huge space between us. I knew I was wrong and someday I regret this. But I thought this was the best for her. 

After making this huge mistake, I should marry to someone. hah! I know! Why someone?! Because I thought she is a lady and I can't force him to marry me. Besides, who am I to propose to her in this situation? So I married to a monster to punish myself. 

I know what you might say! I had hug mistakes and can't make such excuses. 

What I had done was wrong and I lost her. She hates me. But what should I do? I can't forget her. I miss her so much. I really need her. I want to divorce my wife and marry to my love. But how?! She doesn't want me anymore. I dream about her every day and night. 

offf. F*k me and my miserable life.